Bumper Stickers

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... not screaming and
yelling
like his passengers...."
"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case Heaven is like the IRS."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students!"
"Give me ambiguity or . . . give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"i souport publik edekasion"
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"I killed a six-pack just to watch it die."
"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."