This was stolen from Ann Landers!  Wow.. i hope that

she doesn't hunt me down and sue me for

taking it... shhh..

These are real phone questions recorded by a realtor after over 40 years in the rental business.

Agent:  What is your address?
Client:  Just a minute.  I'll ask my husband.

Client:  Because Christmas comes so close to New Year's this year, we will be a little late with the rent.

Agent:  Do you have any pets? 
Client:  Oh no!  I can't use nothing that can't go to the bathroom by itself.

Agent:  How many are in your family?
Client:  None.  Just me and my wife.

Agent:  Do you have any pets?
Client:  Just my son.  He's two.

Agent:  In what area are you interested?
Client:  I don't care about the area.  It's the vicinity I'm concerned about.

Agent:  Where are you employed?
Client:  At the naval hospital.
Agent:  In what capacity?
Client:  Hold on a minute.  Hey, Joe, what's the capacity of the naval hospital?

Agent:  In what area are you looking?
Client:  I don't want to live in the South, North, East or West.

Agent:  Where do you want to live?
Client:  Fifteen minutes from the job.
Agent:  Where do you work?
Client:  Who me?  I don't work.

Agent:  Where are you living now?
Client:  Well, we sleep in Philadelphia with some relatives, and we bathe in Bristol with other relatives.

Client:  I'd like to make an appointment to see you on Saturday.
Agent:  Saturday is our busiest day.  Can you come in during the week?
Client:  Sure, no problem.  How about Saturday?

Agent:  Do you have any pets?
Client:  Why?  Are pets required to get an apartment these days?

Agent:  What kind of dog do you have?
Client:  He's part bagel and part lavender.

Agent:  What price range are you looking for?
Client:  I want a two-bedroom apartment in the price range of a three-bedroom apartment.

Agent:  What is your approximate yearly income?
Client:  I don't know.  I've only been working here seven months.

Agent:  How many are in your family?
Client:  Just me and my date.
Agent:  What is your name?
(Silence.)  Ma'am, what is your name, please?
Client:  Don't rush me!  I'm thinking.

Agent:  You say you are living with your son?  How old is he? 
Client:  He is 60.
Agent:  And how old are you?
Client:  I am 30.

Agent:  So you want your name removed from our list of renters?
Client:  I'm giving notice to move from my townhouse because I just bought a condom in New Jersey.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*