 | Nancy Reagan meets Ms. Manners:
Just say "No, thank you." |
| When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
~Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers |
| I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I
don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it. ~Clarence Darrow |
| Whatever happens to you, it will have
previously happened to everyone you know, only more so. |
| Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow,
somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before. |
| "Some people say that I must be a
horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy-- in a jar on
my desk." ~Steven King |
| The New England Journal of Medicine
reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. ~Jay
Leno |
| --------if you cut here you'll probably
destroy your monitor-------- |
| I realize that I'm generalizing here, but
as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care. ~Dave Barry |
| When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws
will have inlaws. |
| DEAR MISS MANNERS: When
someone brings sweet rolls to work for a treat, is it proper for people to cut them up and
leave halves, quarters or eighths on the plate?
GENTLE READER: Those who bring sweet rolls to work should not be quartered,
much less eighthed. They are only being nice. |
| It's not coincidence that in no known
language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear. ~Douglas Adams |
| It's a small world, but I wouldn't want
to paint it. ~S. Wright |
| Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as
jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts. ~Drebin, Naked Gun 2 1/2 |
| A toast to bread, for without bread,
there could be no toast. |
| Dear Mr. President: There are too
many states. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot. ~Abraham
"Grandpa" Simpson |
| It is fast approaching the point where I
don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. ~Erma Bombeck |
| People who treat other people as less
than human must not be surprised when the bread they have cast on the waters comes
floating back to them, poisoned. ~James Baldwin |
| To make oneself an object, to make
oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object. ~Somone De
Beauvoir |
| Ah, when to the heart of man was it ever
less than a treason to go with the drift of things to yield with a grace to reason and bow
and accept at the end of a love or a season. ~Robert Frost |
| We will have to repent in this generation
not merely for the hateful words and actions of bad people but for the appalling silence
of the good people. ~Martin Luther King Jr. |
| The art of acceptance is the art of
making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a
greater one. ~Russell Lynes |
| Life has no other discipline to impose,
if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut
our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves
to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of
beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one
for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. ~Henry Miller |
| Accept everything about yourself--I mean
everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end-- no apologies, no
regrets. ~Chuck Mousakas |
| Fortune does not change men, it unmasks
them. ~Malcom Forbes |
| Daffodils that come before the swallow
dares, and takes the wind of March with beauty. ~Shakespeare |
| There was never yet an uninteresting
life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there
is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. ~Mark Twain |
| It could be shown by facts and figures
that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. ~Mark
Twain |
| Grief can take care of itself, but to get
the full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with. ~Mark Twain |
| If I were reincarnated, I'd want to come
back a buzzard. Nothing hates him or envies him or wants him or needs him. He
is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat anything. ~William Faulkner |
| A people without information is a dead
people. ~Rosalina Tuyve (Velasquez, Guatemalan official) |
| The highest law gives a thing to him that
can use it. ~Henry David Thoreau |
| The trouble with political jokes is they
are elected. |
| Le sens commun n'est pas si commun.
~Voltaire (Common sense is not so common.) |
| I do not understand the world, but I
watch its progress. ~Katherine Anne Porter |
| Life is the sum of all your choices.
~Albert Camus |
| Every patient is a doctor after they've
been cured. ~B.H. (The Herald Coaster, Fort Bend, Texas) |
| Let a joy keep you. Reach out your
hands and take it when it runs by. ~Carl Sandburg |
| Doubt isn't the opposite of faith, it is
an element of faith. ~Paul Tillich |
| No man needs a vacation so much as the
man who has just had one. ~Elbert Hubbard |
| Censorship, like charity, should begin at
home; but unlike charity, it should end there. ~Claire Booth Luce |
